1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
