I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
