I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
