my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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