I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize