he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
