please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
