elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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