what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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