Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Randomize
