I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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