I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
