i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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