Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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