you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
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