singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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