any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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