Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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