Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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