Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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