TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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