I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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