I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
