this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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