So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
