Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
