I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he was CRYING into my vagina
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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