How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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