he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i think im in europe. pls send help
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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