i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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