he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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