Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
