Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
