I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
