thus making me awesome and them whores
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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