Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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