Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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