last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Randomize
