It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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