He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
