Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
