I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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