5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize