I wanna bring you to show and tell
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
