I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
