The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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