They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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