So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
