I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
