they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
