what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
