FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
