the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
