He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize