i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
