My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize