Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
