You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
