Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
