is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
