I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
