I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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